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NATIONAL VANILLA PUDDING DAY Fivesome, May 22, 2021

 Five Q-Tips assembled at Mar-A-Lawno for two rounds on a delicious day full of sunshine and clouds and breezes. Course #42 was on offer, or was it 43? Ethereal, eclectic music soothed but stirred the veteran players.  

Mallethead, Mr. Wicket, Wick O'Shay, Sticky Wicket and Surferino came out of the starting wickets misfiring on the third wicket. Eventually, they self-sorted and surprise, 🔥Mr. Wicket🔥 continued his en fuego ways. Mallethead offered a sage comment about the game in effect indicating that coming in second after playing poorly is a reward. ( I've gotta start carrying a small notebook.) At the time, he was totally embodying his comment alone on the upper level of the course.

The second game saw Wick O'Shay kill 🔥you know who🔥 with a long green downhill shot which was the SOD, Shot of the Day. Thereafter,  Poison Sticky went for a kill shot on Poison Wick but missed leaving Poison Wick a short tap for the victory. 

The collegial, convivial atmosphere and camaraderie was a fitting tribute to NationalVanilla Pudding Day. Although none of the players were soft, sweet nor pleasant smelling.

Games won: One - Mr. Wicket and Wick O'shay, None - everyone else.

NATIONAL PIERCING DAY Threesome/Foursome, May 16, 2021

 Play began at 🗿Mar-A-Lawno on a chilly, damp, raw ☁ afternoon with Mr. Wicket, Surferino and Sticky Wicket in attendance. After three rounds, Wick O'Shay joined for two more rounds. Some players wore shorts. Some players drank 🍺.

Guess who continued to be en 🔥? Who deftly avoided kill shots? Who tactically retreated only to 🚀 to the front. None other than the hottest May player in memory, 🔥🔥🔥Mr. Wicket🔥🔥🔥. For those keeping score, Mr. 🔥won four of five games. Some think he threw the third game allowing Surferino and Sticky a chance for a face-saving win. When Sticky aggressively tried to kill Surferino and missed leaving Surferino an easy kill shot, hope blossomed. Maybe Mr. 🔥's dominance was at an end. But no, in a later  game, Surferino stroked a long, long distance kill shot at Mr. 🔥only to pass through a wicket resulting in instant 💀.

SOD (Shot-of-the-Day) went to Surferino who, near the sixth wicket, roqueted on Mr. Wicket's ball bouncing off and through the sixth and seventh wickets striking the stake, in a never-before-seen shot.

Games won: Mr. 🔥four.  Surferino one.  Sticky Wicket and Wick O'Shay zero.

Glossary of Some Croquet Terms

         Backward Ball: The ball of a side that has scored fewer hoops (compare with 'forward ball').

• Ball-in-hand: A ball that the striker can pick up to change its position, for example:

1. any ball when it leaves the court has to be replaced on the yard-line
2. the striker’s ball after making a roquet must be placed in contact with the roqueted ball
3. the striker’s ball when the striker is entitled to a lift.

• Ball in play: A ball after it has been played into the game, which is not a ball in hand or pegged out.
• Baulk: An imaginary line on which a ball is placed for its first shot in the game, or when taking a lift. The A-baulk coincides with the western half of the yard line along the south boundary; the B-baulk occupies the eastern half of the north boundary yard line.
• Bisque, half-bisque A bisque is a free turn in a handicap match. A half-bisque is a restricted handicap turn in which no point may be scored.
• Break down: To end a turn by making a mistake.
• Continuation stroke: Either the bonus stroke played after running a hoop in order or the second bonus stroke played after making a roquet.
• Croquet stroke: A stroke taken after making a roquet, in which the striker's ball and the roqueted ball are placed together in contact.
• Double tap: A fault in which the mallet makes more than one audible sound when it strikes the ball.
• Forward ball: The ball of a side that has scored more hoops (compare with 'backward ball').
• Hoop: Metal U-shaped gate pushed into ground. (Also called a wicket in the US).
• Leave: The position of the balls after a successful break, in which the striker is able to leave the balls placed so as to make life as difficult as possible for the opponent.
• Lift: A turn in which the player is entitled to remove the ball from its current position and play instead from either baulk line. A lift is permitted when a ball has been placed by the opponent in a position where it is wired from all other balls, and also in advanced play when the opponent has completed a break that includes hoops 1-back or 4-back.
• Object ball: A ball which is going to be rushed.
• Peg out: To cause a rover ball to strike the peg and conclude its active involvement in the game.
• Peel: To send a ball other than the striker's ball through its target hoop.
• Pioneer: A ball placed in a strategic position near the striker's next-but-one or next-but-two hoop, to assist in running that hoop later in the break.
• Primary colours or first colours: The main croquet ball colours used which are blue, red, black and yellow (in order of play). Blue and black, and red and yellow, are played by the same player or pair.
• Push: A fault when the mallet pushes the striker's ball, rather than making a clean strike.
• Roquet: (Second syllable rhymes with "play".) When the striker’s ball hits a ball that he is entitled to then take a croquet shot with. At the start of a turn, the striker is entitled to roquet all the other three balls once. Once the striker's ball goes through its target hoop, it is again entitled to roquet the other balls once.
• Rover ball: A ball that has run all 12 hoops and can be pegged out.
• Rover hoop: The last hoop, indicated by a red top bar. The first hoop has a blue top.
• Run a hoop: To send the striker’s ball through a hoop. If the hoop is the hoop in order for the striker’s ball, the striker earns a bonus stroke.
• Rush: A roquet when the roqueted ball is sent to a specific position on the court, such as the next hoop for the striker’s ball or close to a ball that the striker wishes to roquet next.
• Scatter shot: A continuation stroke used to hit a ball which may not be roqueted in order to send it to a less dangerous position.
• Secondary colours or second colours; also known as alternate colours: The colours of the balls used in the second game played on the same court in double-banking: green, pink, brown and white (in order of play). Green and brown versus pink and white, are played by the same player or pair.
• Sextuple peel (SXP): To peel the partner ball through its last six hoops in the course of a single turn. Very few players have achieved this feat, but it is being seen increasingly at championship level.
• Tice: A ball sent to a location that will entice an opponent to shoot at it but miss.
• Triple peel (TP): To send a ball other than the striker’s ball through its last three hoops, and then peg it out. See also Triple Peel on Opponent (TPO). The significance of this manoevre is that in advanced play, making a break that includes the tenth hoop (called 4-back) is penalized by granting the opponent a lift (entitling him to take the next shot from either baulk line). Therefore many breaks stop voluntarily with three hoops and the peg still to run.
• Wired: When a hoop or the peg impedes the path of a striker's ball, or the swing of the mallet. A player will often endeavour to finish a turn with the opponent's balls wired from each other.
• Yard line: An imaginary line one yard from the boundary. Balls that go off the boundary are generally replaced on the yard line (but if this happens on a croquet stroke, the turn ends).

NATIONAL FROG JUMPING DAY Threesome, May13, 2021

 The current frog jumping record was set in 1986 by Rosie the Ribeter, who jumped 21 feet, 5-3/4 inches.

Nobody jumped at Mar-A-Lawno during the four rounds played in cold, windy overcast conditions. Sticky and Surferino wore jeans. Mr. Wicket wore shorts. In the end, it was evident why Mr. Wicket wore shorts. He was hot, en fuego. Three times he mowed down the competition. Surferino managed to win one round.

Two Shots-of-the-Day (SOD) occurred. Both by Sticky. The first was a roquet on Mr. Wicket's ball at the ninth wicket. From the ledge next to the deck, after holing the eighth wicket, Sticky stroked a complicated downhill shot to smack Mr. Wicket's ball. For the second shot, Sticky pressed his culo into the hedge next to the driveway and stroked a long, angled shot through the eleventh wicket striking Surferino's ball located between the eleventh and twelfth wickets perfectly setup for an easy shot for Poison. Sticky went on to become Poison and slew Surferino.

Games won: 3 by Mr. Wicket, one by Surferino, ZERO for Sticky.

                

National Teacher Day, May 4, 2021, Sextet

Here's to all the teachers who have educated or are educating their fellow Americans. Thank you.

Here's to Sticky who schooled all players in the first game. With unerring accuracy and unparalleled style, Sticky sent all the players to the sidelines on a spectacular May afternoon at Mar-A-Lawno. The bluest of skies and greenest flowered grounds served as a backdrop for Sticky's triumph over Wick O'Shay, Surferino, Lefty, Mr. Wicket and Mr. Balls. Sticky must have consumed a can of Whup Ass at his prefunq. Sticky's long distance kill shot on Mr. Wicket, who was set up to become Poison, gave him the victory.

The second game was a repeat of the first, except for Sticky's having missed a kill shot on the last player opposing him, Poison Surferino. Leaving his green ball just a few feet from Surferino's black ball, Sticky left Surferino an easy kill shot for the victory. It was Surferino's only kill shot. 

Kill shots made in both games: Wick O'Shay - 1, Surferino - 1, Sticky Wicket - 9.

Best dance move: who else but Sticky Wicket doing a version of his famous I'm-nearly-falling shuffle with syncopated guffaws.

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