National Vinegar Day Foursome, November 1, 2020

 On a balsamic afternoon, Mr. Wicket, Surferino and Sticky Wicket (no relation to Mr. Wicket) were present at tee time awaiting the arrival of Lefty. Not wanting to waste the afternoon sunshine waiting, the players drew lots to determine order of play. After the first two players teed off, Lefty arrived and, for his tardiness, was awarded the coveted last position. 

In the wet grass of the lower lawn, balls caused rooster tails of spray. Lefty feasted on the target rich array of balls near the third wicket. As he sprinted ahead, the late afternoon sunshine prompted everyone to shed their outer layer of clothing and avoid shady spots. Ultimately,  Surferino missed a kill shot leaving Lefty a short kill shot for the win.

The second round was a virtual repeat of the first. Lefty scored a kill shot on Surferino for the victory.

Mr. Wicket's amazing second shot at the eighth wicket in front of the gallery earned SOD honors. After his first shot from the turn around wickets resulted in a poor lie adjacent to the now cropped flower bed but downhill and around the corner, Mr. Wicket used the flower bed as a ramp and launched a strong shot that flew over the bed and through the eighth wicket. The gallery watched in amazement incredulous.

The Mr. Balls is Here Sextuplet, October 7, 2020

 Everyone, except for Mad Dog and Mallethead, played two rounds at Mar-A-Lawno under a gray, cool sky. Play ranged from ragged to inspired and all in-between variations. Those who started fast and those who lingered late were equally dispatched. There were many fine shots, bonehead decisions, slices and slams. Mr. Wicket earned the SOD although Wick O'Shay was a close second.

The first round was won by Sticky Wicket who came from behind to score back to back roquets resulting in his becoming Poison. Upon winning, Sticky withdrew saying, "I have a lot of (expletive) to do."

Mr. Wicket won the second round taking out the lingering late Surferino and Lefty. Surferino's missed roquet shot on Lefty resulted in Mr. Wicket's having a medium distance kill shot on Surferino and subsequent short kill shot on Lefty.

A good time was had by all. Everyone observed the masking and social distancing requirements.

Safe travels Mr. Balls!

What Would You Do?

 

The Return......

 

National Taco Day Foursome, October 4, 2020

 

No Lefty nor Mallethead, but Mr. Wicket, Sticky Wicket, Surferino and Wick O'Shay showed. They found another unorthodox layout on a beautifully groomed Mar-A-Lawno course. Warm, mild conditions made for fast paced games. Masks and social distancing requirements were observed.

Surferino won the first round. Sticky won the second round. Both hit winning long distance kill shots. SOD awarded to Mr. Wicket for his difficult ace shot through the ninth wicket. Mr. Wicket also hit a looooong distance shot on wicket while escaping from danger. Surferino's lapses of attention were reminiscent of he who was absent playing golf.

All players await the rumored appearance of MR. 🎱🏈🏀🎾.

National Drink Beer Day, September 28, 2020 Fivesome 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

 🍺🍺🍺 🍺🍺

Lefty, Sticky Wicket,  Wick O'Shay,  Surferino and Mr. Wicket convened at Mar-A Lawno to play two rounds of croquet. Splendid conditions and weather and an unusual course layout prompted the players to swill suds while listening to a playlist provided by DJ O'Shay. For player comfort in the heat of the day, a mister sprayed bigger than Covid-19 droplets of water. Sticky enjoyed the spray to the degree that his shorts looked as though he were incontinent.

Aside from the usual playing out of order, not paying attention, attempting to play another's ball, aiming at the incorrect wicket (see not paying attention), slices and trash talking, the games were competitive and should have been recorded for replay during the upcoming difficult days of winter.

Each game ended with Lefty killing Mr. Wicket for the victory. Mr. Wicket scored the SOD by acing the eighth wicket with a long green blast. Poisoned Surferino killed himself with a misdirected shot. Sticky did an abbreviated shuffle to celebrate having done something extraordinarily commonplace.

Masking and social distancing were practiced. Hand sanitizer was available and used. No injuries were sustained by the players.

🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻

Justin Herbert Starts Foursome, September 20, 2020

 Sticky, Wick, Surferino and Mr. Wicket convened at 1345 hours PDT for two rounds at a wet but drying Mar-A-Lawno. Players were greeted with "The Tiki Bar is Open" by John Hiatt and Sonny Landreth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv__tQt-QFQ

As the afternoon became bitchiner and bitchiner, strange things happened. Wick nearly killed the pink flamingo. Poison Sticky aced a wicket killing himself. Surferino twice lost to Mr. Wicket. Knowing that the Laker vs Nugget game would seduce Mr. Wicket at 1630 hrs., players played fast paced games. 

Congratulations to former Oregon quarterback Justin Herbert who started his, and the Chargers', first game in SoFi Stadium and scored the first Charger TD in the new stadium.

National Lemon Juice Day Sextuplet, August 29, 2020

 Blustery wind, clear sky with promise of autumn was the backdrop at Mar-A Lawno for the six Cowabungas who masked up to play two games. Music, Purell and assorted beers were on hand to hydrate  Lefty, Sticky Wicket, Wick O'Shay, Surferino, Mallethead, and Mr. Wicket. The prefunqed players enjoyed the camaraderie and luxurious atmosphere at Mar-A-Lawno.

Course #17 was laid out by groundskeeper extraordinaire, Miguel Miguel. The first game was won by Lefty who killed Surferino who missed a game ending kill shot. The second game was won by Mallethead who killed Surferino who missed another game ending kill shot. The lengthy games were highlighted by Sticky's antics, Lefty's commentary, assorted out-of-turn shots, hitting the wrong ball shots, shots failing to clear the second of the double wickets and searching for balls hit into thick hedges. Surferino had a nice long distance shot on wicket. Sticky had a series of radar-like middle distance roquets and kill shots. Racing to be the first Poison proved to be no guarantee for victory.

1. "Lemon juice is good for you

   Lemon juice is really a cure for whatever ails you. Drinking a little every day can help prevent kidney stones. Having some first thing in the morning promotes digestion and a speedy metabolism. If you feel a cold coming on, put a little lemon juice and honey in some warm water to sooth your throat. It can even help bring down a high temperature. It improves poor beer and enhances good beer.

2. It’s not just to drink

   The uses for lemon juice are almost endless. Run out of deodorant? Use a little lemon juice to keep away those odors. Remove smudges and stains on glass with lemon juice in a spray bottle or sponge. Add some lemon juice to your laundry to make whites even whiter. It will even preserve fruits and vegetables — just squirt a little lemon juice on them to keep them from browning."

   We are eagerly awaiting National Lime Day!

Here is what happened

 So even Mallethead played but Surerino was not here because I think he was at home watching stuff from the republican convention or maybe listening to his HomePod thing but the first game was when Sticky and Mr. Wicket got really ahead and got rid of everyone and then Sticky killed Mr. Wicket to won that one and then the next game which was game two was when Wick really got far a head and everyone got killed except for Mallethead who was so far behind I thought maybe he left which is kind of funny because he is probably a democrat but then he made some really good shots to get close to the last wickets let’s say maybe 15 feets away and then Wick made this shot to block him but then Mallethead somehow when he decided to go for the final two wickets flew his ball and then you would not have believed it unless you saw it but the ball went threw the first wicket which although there were sum other good shots like one by Lefty had to be the SOD which always reminds me of dirt but then he got to be poison and then he ended up killing Wick but the crazy part is that right when Mallethead won the last song on the two hour plus song list ended which is really weird but this is 2020 so who knows but this description of the two games played is what happens when our head righter which is kind of funny because he might have been watching the republican thing is not at Mar-A-Lawno to right stuff the end.  

Cockwombling By The Sea Fivesome, August 19, 2020

On a day of fret (a cold and wet mist that has travelled in from the sea), nearly a smirr (a fine drizzle), five Cowabunga lads, three sporting shorts, one wearing trousers and one gloved with funky mechanic's overalls hiding prison blues underneath, ventured forth at Mar-A-Lawno to complete two rounds. All were prefunqed, masked and deranged, especially the mechanic. 

As the other blokes blazed around the dampening course, Wick O'Shay, a Southside Thane, held back, disguising his brilliance in an ablach display. Eventually, he emerged from the gloom, revealed his true and daring nature and made the others look like bampots, diddies, fandans and radges. Aye, he won.

The second round went to Mr. Wicket. As the sky thickened and grayed, facing a hungry and cold Lefty, somehow Mr. Wicket found within himself the Braveheart spirit and prevailed.

During the bleak afternoon, like Superman or a metamorphosising caterpillar, Sticky the gurk, struggled out of his mechanic's overalls and burst out in prison blues. Unconstrained by the protective but binding garment, Sticky's game improved a wee bit.

Alas there may have been some great shots or plays, buy yours truly was too prefunqed to recall them. To those who excelled, ma head's minced. Sorry for being dighted.

Lang may yer lum reek.

The No Lefty Foursome to Threesome Event, August 13, 2020

 Wick O'shay won the first game when Surferino missed a kill shot leaving his ball a mallet's head distance   from Wick's.

Sticky won the second round against Wick and Mr. Wicket. No additional details available.

Quarantine Quintet August 8, 2020

Masked, socially distanced and fully beered,  five Cowabungas, Lefty, Mr. Wicket, Sticky Wicket, Wick O'Shay and Surferino, played two rounds at an exquisitely groomed Mar-A-Lawno. A surprisingly warm north wind prompted some to remove shirts (any resemblance to Chris Farley was unintentional but well deserved) and bask in the penetrating warmth of the summer sun. The eclectic playlist was spot on.

The first round was won by Lefty who raced around the course and dispatched everyone with solid kill shots. The second round was won by Surferino who charged from the middle of the pack to become poison and kill Sticky and Mr. Wicket. Thereafter, Surferino scored a long green glancing kill shot on Lefty who was parked near Wick who subsequently was easily murdered.

SOD: Surferino's long distance kill shot on Lefty and easy kill shot on Wick.

Twas groovy to play with bitchin dudes on such a marvelous day and course.

The croquet set of club member Mr. Balls

One Two Three Go, July 14, 2020

Mr. Wicket. Wick O'Shay. Surferino. Three players. Three rounds. Three winners on the third day of the week.

No Sticky No Wick No Mallethead -Twosome Threesome, July 8, 2020

Perfect day for croquet. The green manicured grass plus the warm clear sky and pleasant music from a curated playlist made for optimal playing conditions. Mar-A-Lawno looked better than Forest Lawn, Dodger Stadium or Augusta National. Twas a privilege and honor to walk upon the magnificent grounds with Mr. Wicket and Lefty with faces masked.

Three fast rounds were completed on the traditional course layout. Mr. Wicket and Lefty played round one. Surferino joined for rounds two and three. Lefty was deadly for rounds one and two. Surferino won the last round. No hat trick for Lefty. No SOD or POD occurred. Just competitive rounds and good vibes.

Get well Sticky!

No Sticky Shootout, June 28, 2020

Yep, no Sticky for today’s rounds. Just Lefty, Mr. Wicket, Surferino and Wick O’Shay visited Mar-A-Lawno to play two rounds on the #12 course layout. Humidity and long grass helped make the weird #12 layout especially challenging. Masks and social distancing were required.

 

Mr. Wicket won both games. Wick’s long distance shot through the fourth wicket was the SOD*. Despite the challenging course layout multiple players made Poison each game. Two music playlists were exhausted during the afternoon.

* = Shot of the Day

Summer Opener, June 23, 2020

Six Cowabungas, Mallethead, Surferino, Wick O'Shay, Sticky Wicket, Lefty and Mr. Wicket, assembled on a breezy not cold mid-afternoon at Mar-A-Lawno for the first two games of summer. A specially curated playlist heavily weighted to Super Session enhanced the already terrific ambience. Long, lush grass challenged the pre-funqed, beer swilling players navigating the traditional course layout. 

The first round ended with Mr. Wicket winning. The second round, absent Sticky Wicket and Mallethead,  went to Surferino. Lefty's long distance roquet on Mr. Wicket between the fifth and sixth wickets was the SOD*. Poisoned Surferino's suicide while attempting a kill shot next to the tenth wicket and Sticky's brain fart at the fifth wicket were the EPOD**. No mask or social distancing violations were noted by course marshals.

*     Shot of the Day

**   Embarrassing Plays of the Day

STAYING ALIVE FIVESOME , JUNE 3, 2020

A stiff cool north wind from the white-capping Mar Pacifico greeted Sticky Wicket, Lefty, Wick O'Shay, Surferino and Mr. Wicket as they assembled to tee off under a sunny sky on the #3 course laid out by Miguel Miguel at Mar-A-Lawno .  Prefunqed, hydrated and fully masked, order of play was determined for game one. 

Sticky got out to an early lead and laid up near the fourth wicket. Then, after going through the third wicket, Lefty smashed a looooong shot scoring a roquet on Sticky, earning SOD* honors. Both Left and Wick bounced over the seventh wicket with their turn around tee shots, a highly unusual occurrence. Lefty blazed ahead and became Poison. He set up behind the tenth wicket waiting to kill those approaching it, effectively blocking the wicket. Wick launched a long shot scoring a roquet on Sticky who had perfectly set up to go through the tenth wicket. Then, in a never seen before sequence, Wick placed his ball next to Sticky's, removed his sandals, put his left foot on his ball and sent Sticky through the tenth wicket striking Lefty on the other side. With Sticky dead and Lefty just barely out of the way, Wick used his second shot to go through the tenth wicket and then onward to become Poison. This sequence earned Wick POD** honors. Ultimately, Wick killed Mr. Wicket to win game one. This was his second, consecutive victory.

Game two lacked the drama of game one with the exception of a surprising sequence again involving Sticky Wicket in the area of the tenth wicket. This time, Sticky scored a roquet and used his first shot to get into position to strike Lefty on his second shot for a roquet. Upon scoring the roquet, Sticky would have been in position to set up to go through the eleventh and twelfth wickets to become Poison. However, Sticky forgot that Lefty was Poison. So, Sticky committed suicide. Thus, without taking a shot, Lefty twice caused Sticky's demise. Thereafter, Lefty and Surferino, both Poison, chased each other around the top of the course. Finally, Surferino scored a kill shot on Lefty, winning game two.

*   = Shot of the Day

** = Play of the Day

Keep Your Distance Fivesome May 24, 2020

Luxuriant Mar-A-Lawno reopened with a cadre of five♷ Cowabungas wearing masks dedicated to having fun. A pandemic themed playlist of songs suffused the course. Two rounds were played with special rules: order of play was determined by Mr. Wicket who selected numbered tiles from a Crown Royal purple sack; players were required to use the same ball for both rounds; two mallet lengths social distancing required; prefunq optional but highly recommended; no pity to be shown to a convalescent Sticky Wicket in his initial recreational foray since the "event"; Corona beer allowed. Hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes were provided at the comfort station.

A thick, deep grass surface demanded a power game on the traditional course. As the players adapted to the conditions, lack of recent playing time was evident. Still, despite an episode of mistaken balls involving Mr. Wicket and Sticky, player performance improved as round one progressed. Eventually, Sticky celebrated his return with a victory.

The second round saw Wick O'Shay come out on top. 

Mr. Wicket's downhill roquet from just beyond the eighth wicket was the SOD (Shot-of-the-Day).

♷ Lefty, Surferino, Mr. Wicket, Wick O'Shay, Sticky Wicket

Croquet at a distance

                                                                       Sunday 2:30

Croquet guidelines released

National Beer Day

🍺 Today, April 7, celebrate National Beer Day by savoring a cold glass, bottle or can of your favorite beer. Remember, perhaps the oldest known recipe is for beer. For thousands of years, people have been swilling suds. As you draw one from a tap, pull a can ring, twist off a cap or use a church key, give thanks for the pleasures of a lager, an ale, a stout, a porter. It fuels fun so get funny.🍺

Sequestered At The Sea Foursome March 19, 2020

Spring has nearly sprung at beautiful and sanitized Mar-A-Lawno. With Purell formula 2x and disinfectant wipes readily available, Lefty, Wick O'Shea, Mr. Wicket and Surferino played two rounds under a clear, cold and sunny sky. Prefunctional activities occurred elsewhere

Social distancing rules obtained. Numbered tiles for order of play were drawn by one cleansed and disinfected member, Mr. Wicket. Each member was required to play the same ball for both rounds. The original course, wet but manicured, was set up by groundskeeper Miguel Miguel. A jazzy, funky playlist was curated by the house DJ, Grandmaster Lakertonious.

Drawing inspiration from the tale of the Tortoise and the Hare, Wick came from way behind to win round one. The second round was won by Mr. Wicket who outlasted Lefty for the easy kill shot. There were no outstanding shots nor horrible, life threatening ones.

A neighbor left these for the players

Sticky Wicket Returns

INTERNATIONAL TUG OF WAR DAY FOURSOME

February 19, 2020

“Tug of war is one of the simplest of sports, dating back to ownership disputes over food and clothing, the history disappears into legend with the Sun and Moon wrestling over light and darkness.

Most cultures have references to competitions of strength that involve pulling in opposite directions which can be found on stone carvings, in ancient texts and legends. Vikings used animal skins stretched across a fire pit, if any more incentive to pull were required. When tall ships were common on the seas a ‘tug ‘o’ war’ was a common way for sailors to show their prowess with heavy rigging.

Dropped from the Olympic Games in 1920, Tug of War still remains a Worldwide sport and many nations have their own governing bodies. Aside from formal competitions ‘pulls’ feature at many fairs and festivals. Spectators are encouraged to cheer on their favorite side. Join in Tug-of-War Day by organizing your own event, or getting involved in another!

Tug-of-war is a competitive sport that takes place around the world and has a long and ancient history. Two teams hold each end of a large rope and attempt to pull the other towards them in order to win. Contests often take place over bodies of water or muddy areas so that the losing team suffers the indignity of falling in, which is preferable to the Viking version of tug-of-war when teams competed over a pit of fire.

The number of people taking part can vary from just a few to a large crowd, with the world record for a single tug-of-war standing at 1,574 participants. It is not surprising that such a popular event has its own annual day; Tug-of-War Day. Cries of ‘heave’ are heard around the world on a day when numerous matches take place, giving a chance to take part or cheer on this timeless team game.”

                                                                      🌞

Freshly mown and deeply green Mar-A-Lawno was bathed in early afternoon sunshine. Prefunqed and rarin to play, Mr. Wicket, Lefty, Wick O’Shay and Surferino played two rounds. Absent Sicky Sticky, the games moved quickly. Cold in the shade but comfortable in the open, players navigated the traditional course but started in the corner by the hedges.

Wick won round one. Mr. Wicket won the second round. No SOD, although Mr. Wicket’s kill shot on Wick nearly qualified. The flower bed proved to be an entertaining course feature as balls caromed off the stump and the ramps. 

All in all, the 2020 inaugural event was welcome and enjoyable. Here’s to many more sun drenched afternoons spent in play with music, suds and buds.